What I live by

"Sorry, I can’t hangout.
My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died.
It was tragic."
— 1 month ago with 132 notes

"Do all moms assume that if you have a friend of the opposite gender then you’re romantically interested in them?"
— 1 month ago with 162 notes

"If you’re gonna be a smart-ass, first you gotta be smart, otherwise you’re just an ass."
— 1 month ago with 127 notes

"I used to be a people person, but people ruined that for me."
— 1 month ago with 117 notes

"I’ve been using Google for over 10 years, I still have NO IDEA what The “I’m Feeling Lucky” button does."
— 1 month ago with 146 notes

ascythe:

everyone needs a transparent middle finger emoji on their blog.

ascythe:

everyone needs a transparent middle finger emoji on their blog.

— 1 month ago with 7847 notes